Yesterday, at 3:55 pm, our family cat, Bert, passed away.  He was only four years-old.  He was a black, short-haired male that my wife adopted when he captured her heart in a pet store window.

We brought him home to our first house and immediately noticed that he was rambunctious.  He would play with anything and anyone.

Unfortunately, he also chewed whatever he could sink his teeth into: electrical cords, toys, and shoes.  And it was his penchant for footwear that started him down an unhealthy road.  A piece of my wife’s flip – flop had to be surgically removed from his stomach in an emergency procedure that ruined the lining of his belly.  His stomach dragged along the ground and swung, a potbelly pendulum on an otherwise healthy body.  The vet said that hernias could follow.

This condition, combined with an already ornery side made him unbearable at times.  He bit us.  And family.  And friends.  And then our oldest son got nipped.  And a decision was made.

We stalled, and waffled on it, hoping that things would change, but they didn’t.  I could tolerate the odd bite to my arm or calf.  My three year old was growing terrified.

We tried to dwell on the positives, like the time when his meowing alerted us to the overflowing laundry tub in the basement.  Eventually, the bad outweighed the good.  By a large margin.

We couldn’t coup him up, and it wasn’t fair to him to spend his days in isolation.

So leading up to yesterday, I fed him some extra chicken and treats.  I petted him a little longer in the morning, and I even let him outside in the snow for the first time (being declawed, this was impossible in the past).  He didn’t care for the outdoors, which reassured me that a declawed, domesticated animal wouldn’t have survived on a farm.

So, on the most miserable day of this winter I did the most miserable thing I’ve ever had to do.

And today, when I brought myself to clean up after him, I slipped carrying his bowl.  It cracked on the basement floor and a piece cut the thumb on my right hand.

He had got me one last time.  But that’s okay, I know it made him smile.

Until now.  All it took was a little political news at the federal level for the light bulb to go off in my head, and voila! My first blog of the new year.

Beginning in January of 2007, families were able to claim up to $500 in what was called a recreation tax break.  This helped to offset the cost of lessons, equipment, and entrance fees for children involved in sports.

Then, on January 27th of last year, the home improvement tax credit began.  Fencing, renovations, and landscaping costs are lessened under this legislation.

Alas here we are, in 2010.  The end of the home improvement tax is in sight, the government is prorogued, and the Conservatives are seeing their lead in the polls slip because Canadians feel (gasp!) that their elected politicians should be working and not getting ready cheer on Olympians.

Here is my first prediction of the new year: Prime Minister Harper will soon announce his tax break du jour and it will be the Green Tax Break. 

Under said break, Canadians wanting to install ”Green” machines, solar panels, or even water run-off barrels, for instance will receive a tax break applicable in 2011. 

It keeps up the tradition of highly popular annual tax breaks, and reaches out to those who criticize his environmental record.

That’s my first prediction for 2010!

The central point of the NFL draft is to improve your team.  Remarkably, not so for the Lions brass.  They (the Detroit Lions ‘management’) use the draft as a small opportunity to celebrate the greatest time of the year for them.

The absolute pinnacle of the entire year is upon them from the time when the commissioner says, ‘The Detroit Lions are on the clock,’ until he says, ‘with their selection, the Detroit Lions draft, from…’

I estimate that time frame to be no longer than 10 minutes.  Just long enough for them to pop the cork, pour a few glasses of champagne, make a toast, and then decide which young man’s football career they are going to ruin.

Coincidentally, when the Lions draft, it is also a great time for the teams drafting before and after them.  Their predecessors will always have their selection look great in comparison.  Those following the Lions also begin to celebrate when Detroit is on the clock because it is a certainty that the Lions will never ‘steal’ the player they were hoping to obtain.

Now, while Millen’s Mess Makers are lighting cigars, Lions fans are glued to their TV sets – foolishly.  They are listening to ESPN commentators review the last pick and forecast Detroits’ pending debacle.  For anyone who has never met a Lions’ fan, they will be the ones muttering ‘Not another wide receiver!’ with equal encouragement and uncertainty.

Editor’s note 2: After the winter that we’ve just endured, if you are voluntarily indoors on a Saturday afternoon watching old men talk about young physically fit men, you have big problems.

Why is that pre-draft time period the high point of the ‘Lions management’s’ season? Simple.  During that duration, the team has not lost a fumble, a game, or (most importantly) a disgusted season – ticket holder (yes, there are still some).  They are immune from the criticism that fans and media will pile on.  Optimism is in the air.  Could another Barry Sanders land in their lap?

Here’s where that important 10 minutes come in to play for everyone else.  You can use that time frame to do something minuscule, yet productive.  Pour Drano down a clogged pipe.  Take out trash.  Go through your kids drawers to make sure that they aren’t doing drugs.  Whatever.  The point being that your good efforts will offset the unintentional bad efforts of Henry Ford’s descendants, and thereby making you feel good about how you spent your Saturday afternoon.

Furthermore, you’ll feel good because you won’t have a hangover from drinking the kool-aid, uh, champagne.

Round 2 NHL Picks:

Detroit over Colorado in 5

Dallas over San Jose in 6

The Montreal Vandalism Causers lose in 7.

The Rangers advance in 7.

Utah vs Houston: The NBA’s western conference is so strong this year.  And remember when The Simpsons was practically unmissable? This series reminds me of when The Simpsons was in its heyday and this is an episode about ‘Lisa doing what’s right.’  The series will be good, but not fully enjoyable.  Tracy McGrady isn’t really likable so he doesn’t garner sympathy support.  Utah is as exciting as a pamphlet about mufflers, so no one wants to watch them longer than we must.  In fact, (here it comes hockey fans) the Jazz conjure up the same sentiment as the New Jersey Devils.  You know what I just realized? The Houston Rockets, New Jersey Devils and Toronto Raptors all have Red, White and Black as the colours in their uniforms.  Shouldn’t the Rockets and Raptors be forced to re-incorporate yellow and purple just to stay unique? Ugh, these predictions are not starting well for me, just like they won’t for Houston.  Utah sweeps. <Confidence meter: 8.1>

New Orleans vs Dallas:  Conversely, I hope this one goes the distance.  Think of all the point guards that Jason Kidd has played against in his career, and in his twilight, he has to face Chris Paul.  Oooh.  Now that I think about it, I am amazed that Gary Bettman didn’t put an NHL team in New Orleans.  How did he sidestep that landmine? If he had expanded/relocated the Maple Leafs there, and Katrina hit right after the lockout, it would have been the perfect storm of terrible commissioner decisions.  The Big Easy in 6. <Confidence meter: 6.7>

LA Lakers vs Denver: Everyone has the Lakers winning this series in a cakewalk.  Coloradoians will turn their attention to a hockey team featuring a former Hart Trophy winner who now resembles a Third World Robot (Peter Forsberg).  Seriously, I think the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz looked smoother on the Yellow Brick Road 65 years ago.  Now watch him torch the Red Wings in OT like he did in game 5 in 2002.  I digress.  The Lakers win in 5 after Iverson reminds everyone that he still has gas in the tank.  Oh yeah, and Kobe may hear some play-off booing in Denver.  Maybe. <Confidence gauge: 109.78 I really, really, think this will happen.  For sure.>

San Antonio vs. Phoenix: Wow.  This is a first round match-up? I want Phoenix to win so badly, but I can not get past that nerd Manu Ginobili.  There’s gotta be some upset somewhere, and San Antonio has to be starting to get tired after so many play-off games this decade…uh oh, I’m making a ‘hope’ prediction: Phoenix in 7 big ones! By the way, I am moving this week, which means I am getting cable installed, and therefore my awesome wife selected the ‘unlimited sports/movies’ channels for the bonus trial period.  Imagine flipping from this series, to the western conference hockey games, to the 72, 809th running of the ‘You can’t handle the truth’ scene from A Few Good Men? (Wow does that movie look different since Keifer did ’24′ and Cruise hopped on Oprah’s couch). <CM: 2.13>

And in the East…

Celtics will sweep the Hawks.  Since I am mentioning Boston here, I am going to touch on Bill Simmons’ (of ESPN.com) MVP (Kevin Garnett) column from last week.  To review, some of the reasons that Bill listed for KG winning it include: his dad was able to sell his Celtics’ tickets in 4 minutes, KG blocks shots after the whistle has blown, and KG is a great cheerleader in blow-outs.  Hmmm.  Great MVP criteria.  At least he and I agree that Boston sweeps.  And the Bruins are sure making the Habs sweat, aren’t they? <Scale of Confidence: 85>

Vancouver over Milwaukee: This would be my choice because I like mountains on the coastline, not mountains on the waistline.

Cleveland vs Washington:  I’m saying ‘Go Wiz,’ when I realized that my son is a few months away from potty training, thus this phrase could get heavy usage in ’08.  I’ve said this before, but history shows that Cleveland isn’t a city that shows up following a strong previous season.  What happened after that 1997 Indians run? How about when the Browns made the post-season in 2002?  What about when the Cleveland Barons steamrolled there way to…forget it.  I mean, is Bob Feller still the grand marshal for Cleveland’s ‘Champions Parade?’ I will give Washington credit for making this series interesting from the outset.  Too often though, Brendan Haywood and Antawn Jamieson come across as the first two henchmen to fall when the hero starts ‘takin’ no prisoners.’  LeBron James has been known to ‘take no prisoners’ at times.  Cleveland in seven. <H.M.C.S. Confidence lands in Port 79.5>

Toronto vs Orlando: I have tried to figure out a way that Toronto can win this series a thousand times.  Too often though, I’m forced to say ‘if,’ before my explanation – that’s never a good launching pad.  So here it is in a nutshell: Toronto must steal one of the two first games in Orlando, get sustained excellent play from Andrea Bargnani, and dig in their heals for a long, physical series.  I think people underrate Jameer Nelson, and he could get the job done if the Raps’ point guard situation gets ugly.  Oh, and Hedo the Turk is having a pretty sweet season.  Orlando in seven.  <CM 50%>

Detroit and Philadelphia: Do you know what it is like watching Detroit? It reminds me of when you are rushing around a grocery store (just before it closes) and you have to get some very specific things for your baby, only when you get to the baby food aisle, all of the boxes are nicely stacked but the French label is facing you.  Your hands can be full, or your kid can be whining and wanting to run away, but you have to try to translate ‘Iron enriched formula for babies aged 3-9 months who can digest huckleberries.’  You know you can spin the box and read the other side.  Or you can even read French.  Or you can just get the box that’s the same colour as the one you ran out of 10 minutes ago when you left the house.  It is more difficult than it had to be.  Voila your Pistons.  They win in 6 when it should be a sweep.  At least their bench will get more minutes.  Since I’m outta hockey references, Detroit beat Phily for the Cup over a decade ago (wow that was weak).  <El Meterro di Confidencia: 90>.

Feedback, as always, is welcome.

I mean, imagine what Cliff Fletcher was thinking right after the Maple Leafs hired him to be their Mr. Fix It GM. He was given a second chance to make a big difference to Toronto’s most historic team. He probably thought he was the cavalry – I mean, he arrived from Phoenix, which is in the desert after all. Then no one waived their no trade clause. And they didn’t make the play-offs. And they are drafting seventh. Fletcher must have felt like Ellis from Die Hard right after he walked into Hans Gruber’s office. One minute, you’re the hero riding in on a white horse, the next minute you’re yelling into a walkie-talkie while everyone is waiting for your, um, contract to expire.

Heading in to the NHL play-offs, one of the big stories was whether or not rookie Carey Price will be able to help the Habs win the Stanley Cup. Another storyline focused on how much momentum will carry over to the post season for the Washington Capitals. Well, imagine if those Capitals go to the Stanley Cup final, or win it? Suddenly the stories become, ‘Why did Bob Gainey let Cristobel Huet leave?’ and ‘Imagine if Toronto had hired Bruce Boudreau to coach?’ It wasn’t as if he was an unknown to the Maple Leafs. Boudreau was a Toronto Marlie in 1977.

I think that it is safe to say that the notion that a (semi) retired star can return to a team with a fraction of the season remaining and help them (significantly) in the post season is wrong. Roger Clemens and now the duo in Anaheim (Neidermayer and Selanne) along with Peter Forsberg are all evidence of that. Barry Bonds buyers beware.

Carlos Boozer wears number 5. Chris Bosh wears 4. Caron Butler 3. And Chauncey Billups 1. Is there a ‘Team CB #?’ or is Bosh the only one who calls himself by his initials and number? I don’t think George Blaha calls Billups ‘CB1.’ The only missing number is 2. The closest one I could think of was Corey Brewer, 22.

Maybe Orlando isn’t the only magical kingdom in Florida. Both the Heat and Lightning have recently won a championship, retained their stars and head coach, and finished an abysmal season. Now they will get an excellent young draft selection and not a hint of the Canadian winter. That works out nicely.

Congratulations on 1000 shows Jimmy Kimmel. You’ve come a long way from playing ‘Client in Commercial’ in 2002′s Like Mike, to late night talk show success

I recently saw a preview of a Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino movie called Righteous Kill. Throughout the trailer, it used the Rolling Stones song, Sympathy for the Devil . Am I correct in that 10 years ago, another Al Pacino movie, The Devil’s Advocate, used that same song? Either way, the film looks good. Even if it sounds a bit sympathetic.

And staying on that theme, remember 1996′s Trainspotting? Well, over a decade later and Disney is using ‘Lust for Life,’ a prominent song on that film’s soundtrack, to promo its cruise lines. What could be less Disney than a dirty Scottish toilet, heroine use, and Iggy Pop? Plus, Jim Rome’s radio show uses that tune for its opening. Rome is on ESPN radio, which is owned by ABC, which is owned by Disney. Rome’s demographic is 18 to 40 year-old males. So this music tie-in sets up an interesting scenario. Guys fantasize about grabbing a bandanna, and drinking 87 cent Mexican beers while playing cards in hut off a beach in Equador, but their wives are packing golf shirts and buying plane tickets to Orlando.

Any young fathers out there? Get yourself an NBA wristband. Nothing works better to wipe the corners of your kids mouth with so little hassle.

So, we can pretty much draw a perfect parallel between Britney Spears and this year’s Ottawa Senators. The Sens began with a record setting start. Then they churned out a regular season that was fine, but replete with warning signs galore. The post season has been a punchline. The off season is filled with so many ‘What ifs’ that I wouldn’t blame anyone (media, coaches, players, fans) if they just backed away quietly.

Montreal is joining the MLS. They are calling the new soccer team, Montreal FC. Shouldn’t it be CF Montreal because of the way that the French make everything backwards? Insert accent anywhere. Personally, I think Vancouver should field a team and call themselves the Vancouver Manouver.

More football…the upcoming April 26th draft presents an annual fascinating moment for one team – the Detroit Lions. In the moment before the Lions draft, they enjoy the best time of their year. At this time, they have not lost a fumble, a game or a season. They temporarily hault criticism. Optimism abounds. Before they say a name, they haven’t ruined a young man’s pro career, or given fans and observers ammunition. It is a brief, but enjoyable moment for the Lions brass. The entire year is not as nice for the Lions for the time between when the host says, ‘Detroit is on the clock,’ to when he says, ‘With their selection, Detroit takes…’ I bet the champagne is already on ice.

Already missing college basketball? Here’s a nice reminder

Curry is a guard for Davidson.  He is the son of former NBA sharpshooter Dell Curry (I once asked Dell what ‘Dell’ was short for.  ‘Vondell.’)  Anyway, before fans are allowed into NBA games, most players get in shooting drills for 20 minutes.  Then the NBAers go back to the locker room to prep for the introductions and game itself.  During that ‘down’ time on the court, not much is happening.  So, being the opportunist that he was, Steph Curry would put on a display – 8 years ago! Generally regarded as the second best sniper in the gym, Curry could lauch and connect on a regulation hoop at will when he was barely a dozen years old.  In a 19,000 seat arena.  Could his nickname be ‘Young Spice?’ So, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that you’ll never catch him with a ‘Deer in Headlights’ expression on his face.  I forgot this, and thus Davidson, behind Curry’s efforts, torched me. 

On to this weekend’s predictions starting with Thursday’s games…

Xavier over WVU.  Cool name beats We Voluntarily Underachieve.

UNC beats Washington State.  I’m just trying to remember the last time ‘Washington’ and ‘wins’ were used together in a significant context.

Western Ketucky loses to UCLA.  I still hold a Hilltoppercentric grudge from when they beat the last remnants of Michigan’s Fab Five.  In a related story, I smile when I think that UCLA had a chance to eliminate said Fab Five, and didn’t.

Tennessee over Louisville.  I just don’t think that Rick Pitino can stop Candice Parker.

And on Friday’s menu we feature…

A delightful Davidson destruction of Wisconsin.  Somebody’s gotta be the team of destiny, right?

Texas over Stanford.  I flipped a coin.  It landed on the kitchen floor.  My cat and 1 year old son chased after it.  This sort of activity favours Texas.

Villanova will upset Kansas I hope.  This is the win that my wife needs.  She finished 2nd in a pool with 185 people last year.  She was a Georgetown free throw miss away from a thousand bucks.  This year, she looks REALLY good if Kansas goes down.  So c’mon Wildcats!

Michigan State trounces Memphis.  My dad went to MSU.  I worked with Greg Kelser last night.  Hey, all signs point to the Spartans.  Tom Izzo is a great tournament coach, by the way.

PS Honey, if you are reading this, I’m making Jake spaghetti for dinner.

Nuts and Bolts

I hope that NBA commentators don’t overblow the ‘Rasheed Wallace walked away from the timeout’ angle again.  Look, in the play-offs, tv timeouts go longer.  They sell commercials and THEN get in replays to explain why the TO was called in the first place.  What does Wallace need to hear? Flip Saunders, ‘They are doubling our guards.’  Wallace, ‘I saw that.’  Saunders, ‘We gotta move the ball.’ Wallace, ‘We do.’  Saunders, ‘Go team on 3. 1-2-3…’  Wallace is the tallest man on the court, has been an all-star, won a championship, and been in the league 1 season less than the recently retired Chris Webber.  What, under the sun, is new to him?  Shorten the time-outs!

This morning I found out the Major League Baseball is having its second annual ‘Civil Rights Game.’  Now, my issue is not with acknowledging that movement, but rather how many of these types of games that are popping up on the sports calendar.  NFL has the Hall of Fame preseason game.  Hockey has its outdoor classics.  You know where this is headed right? Once the NBA stages an outdoor game, we’ll see a Heart of the City Game, played outdoors, at night, in Harlem /Detroit /South Side, somewhere.  If we do see an explosion of these games, I hope that they are used to increase awareness about the respective sports’ history – its roots, players, and original rules/circumstances.  I guess I’m in favour of them.  Much like I am not in favour of watching games involving ‘Atlanta.’

Lidstrom wins the Hart trophy? McCain’s the next president? Chris Paul should be the MVP but won’t win. 

Did anyone see the highlights of Canada losing to Estonia in soccer 2-0? The game was played in snow and Canada lost! If that isn’t a sign that maybe soccer isn’t Canada’s thing, I don’t know what is.  I mean, isn’t that advantage like Egypt getting to play a country in a pyramid?

My friend, Sean Matthew Jones, is in China preparing for the Bejing Olympics.  He tells me that the lead story on Sportscentre is badminton.  They must interview Darcy Tucker second.

As always, please feel free to leave feedback.  I will answer any questions next week.  Enjoy the madness, Opening Day, and April Fool’s Day.

I don’t have a 1 through 4 seed losing in the opening draw, so I will gloss over those games and try to be funny/insightful.  Hopefully I will meet with more success than the time I was doing improv comedy and an audience member suggested I do a scene about ‘Osama Bin Laden.’  Try making with the laughs doing that scene on Sept. 12, 2001.

Round 1 – The East Quadrant

Arkansas over Indiana.  The Razorbacks maintain the grand tradition of yelling ‘Pig, Haaaaaaa, Sooooooey!’ for their team.  Indiana maintains the grand tradition of  recruiting violations.  Plus they are brutal.

Notre Dame over Geo Mason.  I hope that by picking ND, they lose.  I allow myself one mistake a year per sheet.

Oklahoma over St. Josephs.  What? I’m going against a Catholic school during holy week? I’m baptist.  I imagine many Sooners were.  Wait, what’s a ‘sooner?’

Butler over South Alabama.  Who beat South Alabama? The Butler did it!

The Midwest Vector

UNLV over Kent St.  Three to five years ago I woulda taken the Golden Flashes in a heartbeat.  No longer.  I just checked, St. Joe’s plays on Good Friday, uh oh.

Clemson over Villanova.  Yup.

Vanderbilt over Siena.  I went to Letterman and Sienna Miller was on the show.  Vanderbilt would lose if Reggie Miller was playing against them, but as it stands, Siena, like Sienna should not be making movies or winning basketball games.

USC over Kansas St.  I believe that this is the point where fans stop getting excited over USC football and start getting excited about USC basketball.  This is also the point where fans continue ignoring Kansas St.

Wisconsin beats CS Fullerton.  CS Fullerton sounds like the name of a 70′s actor who wore loafers and loads of cologne.  Yes, I know that Wisconsin is a 3 seed, I just hate CS FU.

Gonzaga over Davidson.  As I was looking up ‘Sooner’ in the dictionary, I realized that the definition should probably be something like ‘quicker than expected…’  Instead it is ‘someone who settles on government property to give themselves a decided advantage.’  Basically it means ‘Ottawa.’

South Sector

Mississippi St. over Oregon.  Oregon will be shattered by the news that Terrell Pryor decided to attend school elsewhere.

Michigan St..

Marquette beats Kentucky.  No, wait, they don’t. KU baby!

Miami over St. Mary’s.  I am very uncomfortable with this pick.  Tip-off is an hour after Good Friday mass.  I’ve never liked Miami’s logo though.  They are the Hurricanes, and yet a pelican adorns their paraphenalia.  Why?

West Realm

Texas A&M over BYU.  BYU-Boys, You’re Underachieving.

Western Kentucky over Drake.  Drake sounds like the name of a butler.  If Drake was smart, he’d go by the name ‘Butler.’

Baylor clobbers Purdue.  I don’t like the Big 10 this year.  I’ve always hated Purdue since Glenn Robinson and Conzo Martin played for ‘em.

Xavier.  I have them beating Duke in the next round!

Good luck.

 Finally, NHL contracts are inching back towards ridiculous, the Red Wings and Devils are atop the conferences, Buffalo will finish 7th, 8th, or 9th, and Ottawa/Philly are having goaltending problems.  Good thing we had that lockout to totally shake up the league.

This 15 year contract is working out for the Islanders, eh?

Wow, are the Miami Heat deplorable.  On the other hand, it is great to have Canadian Joel Anthony developing.  He and Samuel Dalembert will help Team Canada in Greece next summer!

                                                            -T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

If you are a fan of Toronto’s sports teams, then perhaps you are wondering if esteemed Mr. Eliot was a month late in his assessment. 

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Exhibit A:

This week the Blue Jays learned that they will lose Casey Janssen for the season.  Granted, this isn’t the same as the San Diego Padres losing Jake Peavy, but you can never have enough pitching early in the year.  Optimists may argue that the fifth starter’s spot in the rotation now becomes Jesse Litsch’s.  The problem there is that Litsch gets the spot by default, and not by healthy competition.  I can only imagine that manager John Gibbons was glad to already have a fifth starter and avoid a possible controversy, but disappointed that the competition never materialized.

Exhibit B:

Did the Raptors’ charter plane land in the NBA’s western conference or Iraq? They have looked absolutely shell shocked since touching down to play LA 3 games ago.  Dorothy, we aren’t in Kansas anymore! In the “Take no possession off” (Mark Jackson, ABC) western conference, the Raptors have looked, in this order: 1. To Bosh for help 2. To Sam Mitchell for guidance 3. To the airline attendant for directions back east.  They look utterly out-manned and have many observers wondering if this team can win a game – let alone a round – in the play-offs.  I suspect that they will return humbled, and hungry; eager to reclaim some of their damaged pride.  If they don’t, expect the outcries for substantial off season overhauls.

C:

The Maple Leafs beat Philly twice in a week.  They rattle Martin Biron.  They get two game winners from Pavel Kubina.  They make observers rethink recent wins over Detroit, Montreal, and Ottawa.  Suddenly, the play-offs seem like a possibility.  Then Mats Sundin pulled his groin.  For a while, the Leafs must have felt like Steve Carrell’s character in ‘Dan in Real Life,’ buoyed by renewed vigor until suddenly Dane Cook walks in with Juliet Binoche in tow.  Alas. 

Lamb? Lion? For Toronto fans, March is a hyena, laughing at those that got sucked it.

Random Observations:

As of Saturday night – the second-last day of the OHL season – only 3 out of 8 play-off match-ups had been decided.  Talk about a great way to maintain the regular season’s integrity and interest right up ’til the end.

Does the preview for the film 21 look like a writer took Matt Damon’s two earliest successes, Good Will Hunting and Rounders, and smashed them together?

So, Caron Butler gets injured during his rookie season thereby enabling the Miami Heat to draft Dwayne Wade in 2003.  In 2006 they win an NBA title after signing Shaq.  Now, Pat Riley is shutting down Wade and guaranteeing the top lottery position.  Wow, that works out nicely.  The 2009 Heat roster will boast Shawn Marion, Wade, the (probable) top pick, plus any aging veterans who want a jump start on retirement property. 

Two key members of last year’s championships just got suspended for ‘reckless kicking type actions.’  San Antonio Spur Bruce Bowen got a game for kneeing (my MVP choice) Chris Paul.  And Anaheim Duck Chris Pronger got 8 games for a blade stomp.  Neither action was warranted.  Both players have a dark professional history.  Frankly, I don’t believe either will be playing for a championship in June.

Were it not for two freak occurrences, the Red Wings defence corps would (hypothetically) boast Vlad Konstantinov and Jiri Fisher.

So let us begin by touching on the notion of ‘easing off the pedal’ as the NHL and NBA seasons wind down…

Since January, I have driven to Sarnia twice to broadcast a Sting game.  And each time, it has been worth the drive from Woodstock to see Steve Stamkos play.  In the NFL, commentators refer to a wide receivers’ ‘separation speed.’  Well, if we can cross reference for a moment, Stamkos has exactly that.  Teams who are often caught by opponents employing ‘the trap’ will strongly consider ensuring their draft place in June to select this young man.  LA is my odds on favourite to obtain him and his unlimited marketability.

If you take a look at the Toronto Raptors, there doesn’t seem to be much improvement from last year individually, or collectively as a team.  Chris Bosh was an all – star again.  Andrea Bargnani is still developing.  The team is loaded with 3 point shooting finesse players.  They should win 46 games (last year they won 47).  So it stands to reason that unless the Raptors win a play-off series, they will not have shown a tangible improvement in 2008.  That is unless they do so without Chris Bosh. 

I suspect that the team will play it very cautiously with their all -star and his recent knee injury.  The Raptors are all but assured a post season birth.  It is unlikely that they would be able to advance past the likes of Boston, Detroit or Cleveland.  So if the seedings align poorly for Toronto, and Bosh requires extra time to heal, I would not be surprised if he is effectively ‘shut down’ for the remainder of the season.  The team could take a mulligan on the season and give important play-off minutes to developing players such as Bargnani, Kris Humphries, and Jamario Moon.

Plus, MLSE gets 2 or 3 home dates (read: ticket/concession/merchandise sales) out of it.  Only in Toronto is that win-win.

If you build it…

…well, they’re already coming, actually.  I’m talking about the Memorial Cup in May.  I will be working for Rogers Sportsnet as they broadcast all the game from the Kitchener Memorial Auditorium.  No one is mistaking this building as a state of the art facility but the Aud is working hard to infuse new broadcast facilities that will enhance what is sure to be another memorable Memorial Cup.  Undeniably, the greatest aspect of the arena, has to be how close the fans can get to such exciting hockey.  Trust me, in a few short years, fans will be pushed further away from the action.   Blame it on luxury boxes, accommodating multi-purpose facilities, or safety, the days of counting a player’s stitches are numbered.

Random thoughts:

Recruiting scandals and 58 point losses didn’t happen when Bobby Knight was in charge, and look what occurred at Indiana and Texas Tech after he left…Terrelle Pryor will end up at the University of Oregon.  I suspect that he and Phil Knight (no relation to Bobby, but yes, the founder of Nike) have struck a deal for him to attend that school.  And yes, an investigation will follow.  If I know about it, the NCAA does…If you are on the Gardiner Expressway and drive past BMO Field where the Toronto FC play, you’ll notice a bubble that is protecting the field from winter and allowing the team to practice.  In fact, anyone can rent the facility for $75 an hour…I’ve been to practically every OHL arena in the province this winter and the most unique one has to be Yardman Arena in Belleville.  It has international size ice, an Elvis impersonator who plays the symbols to taunt opposing fans, and a picture of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip above the elevator…To review, Pavel Kubina waives then unwaives his no-trade clause and gets skewered in the media, gets mixed applause when introduced as a starter last night, and hears the cheers when he scores the OT winner vs. Philadelphia.  Only in Toronto….Does Brett Favre’s retirement a day after Randy Moss’ resigning with New England remind anyone of Barry Sanders sudden retirement after too much ineptitude by the Detroit Lions’ management when it came to finding him competent teammates?…If Anaheim moved Ilya Bryzgalov, and Carolina jettisoned Martin Gerber, why would the Maple Leafs keep Andrew Raycroft?

Finally, will anything do more for sagging NHL TV ratings/popularity than a strong play-off run by the Montreal Canadiens?

Pittsburgh (-9) over ST. LOUIS: Balls of Fury.  If you’ve seen Beerfest, for example, you get the gist of this one.  A previously unexplored sport set in a far off country…this time, it’s your typical revenge/Ping Pong epic starring some weird bodied unknowns and Christopher Walken.  I never laughed out loud, but it wasn’t bad.  Pick St. Louis.  Side question: Auto industry or film/TV industry, who’s had it worse this last decade? 

Dallas (-10.5) over CAROLINA: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.  Great special effects.  Better than the book (which was annoying at worst, and anticlimactic at best).  Ever wonder how well Harry would have done with the babes of the wizarding word? Pick Dallas (Carolina had their upset last week).

 NY Giants (-3) BUFFALO: Half Nelson.  I’m watching this and thinking, ‘Is this better than American History X?’  They are very similar films.  Ryan Gosling is great.  I almost forgot, what happened to Edward Norton? Pick Buffalo, why not? Tough foul last night Tony Allen. 

Philadelphia (3) NEW ORLEANS: Superbad.  It is (according to my wife) better than Balls of Fury.  I could have chopped 4 scenes out of it, and tightened it up nicely.  Alas, give Jud Apatow credit, he’s popularizing “Seth” for the first time since the publishing of the Book of Deuteronomy. Pick New Orleans.  Ever wonder how some presidential ‘candidates’ don’t have it in their head to ‘give it up?’ Remember Jesse Jackson? Joe Lieberman? John McCain? These guys are supposed to make the most important decisions for the most important country in the world and yet they can’t read the writing on the wall that states: No chance, save yourself the trouble.

Oakland (13) JACKSONVILLE: Hot Rod.  Initially I thought that it was a little too close to Napoleon Dynamite.  Then the girl next door gets introduced…Pick Jacksonville.  Anyone realize that the Toronto Maple Leafs have never even won a third round play-off series, ever? Ever.

Houston (7) INDIANAPOLIS: Die Hard with a Vengeance.  Is Bruce Willis lucky or good? This Die Hard is great.  Not as good as the first one, but the next best one in the franchise, which begs the question, How high is the bar for the next Indiana Jones movie? Pick Indy.  Why do tv/radio types still say ‘stay tuned?’ Are there tvs and radios that still require ‘tuning in?’

Kansas City (4.5) DETROIT: Wild Hogs.  Travolta is unwatchable (again).  I couldn’t finish the movie, and yet it is more productive than watching Detroit destruct.  Pick Detroit.  My dad estimates that by not watching the Lions, he’s been productive for 1,440 total hours (16 games x 3 hours/game x 30 years) each Sunday afternoon.  Oops, 1,443 hours.  They did have that one play-off game.

Cleveland (-3) CINCINNATI: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.  If you’ve had a tougher year than Cleveland sports fans, please step forward.  They are in a conference with some powerhouses, and if you’re looking towards the future, they are behind up and comer Jacksonville.  Pick Cleveland. 

Green Bay (-9) Chicago: Talk To Me.  You must go see this wonderful Drama.  The gravitas during MLK’s immediate passing is moving.  Pick the Pack.  How soon before Urlacher snaps the ball to himself and just runs it alone?

Atlanta (10) Arizona: Hairspray.  As if I would watch that movie.  As if I would watch this game.  Can it get any worse for the the Falcons? In addition to everything that has happened to them, they just lost out on Bill Parcells.  How did they screw that up? The Falcons were swindled by a team that JUST won its first game of the season.  Unbelievable.

Tampa Bay (-6) SAN FRAN: Mr. Brooks.  Costner is creepy.  At least it has nothing to do with baseball.  Can we call this a revenge game for Jeff Garcia? Nah.  Pick the Bay.

Miami (-21.5) NEW ENGLAND: Ocean’s 13.  Not as good as 11, but better than 12.  No more champagne for Shula.  Pick NE.  How much would ya bet that Massachusetts sports fans would love to replace NHL hockey as one of the four major sports with ‘Matt Damon Box Office Success?’  They would be nearly invincible.

Baltimurderers / SEATTLE (Line not available): Black Sheep.  Not THAT Black Sheep, but a Horror movie with the same title as the last good Farley movie.  How does that happen? I was hoping for an anniversary DVD with loads of extras, instead, it is a low budget slasher flick involving the devil of the animal kingdom: sheep.  I assume that they produce haunted wool.  Pick Seattle.  This begs the question, where is the next fat funny movie star? I saw Barbershop 2, and it may be Queen Latifah.

Jets (9) TENNESSEE: The Nanny Diaries.  I enjoyed it, though in most men’s minds, Scarlett Johansson doesn’t wear those types of underwear.  It is another (The Devil Wears Prada) of these examinations of New York women, and how crazy they are.  Paul Giamatti stars as a guy you never picked to be on your team in gym class. Pick Titans. 

Washington (6.5) MINNESOTA: The Simpsons Movie.  Most agree that this movie is really just a longer episode…and about a decade overdue.  Pick Minnesota at home in the dome.

Denver (9) SAN DIEGO: Bourne Ultimatum.  Last game, last in the trilogy.  The gross domestic totals for Damon movies is only slightly higher than offensive totals that the Chargers ran up on the Lions last week.  Pick SD.

Again, these are view film viewing pleasure, not gambling purposes.  Have a Merry Christmas everyone, and a Happy New Year!