2008 NBA Play-off Preview

Finally, the last aspect of April’s incredible sports month gets underway! And so should my predictions (in no particular order, with no particular format, with no particular foundation upon which to gamble).  To keep this ‘Canadian,’ I will throw a hockey reference in each match-up.  Also, as an added bonus, I will provide a confidence rating for your reading enjoyment.

Utah vs Houston: The NBA’s western conference is so strong this year.  And remember when The Simpsons was practically unmissable? This series reminds me of when The Simpsons was in its heyday and this is an episode about ‘Lisa doing what’s right.’  The series will be good, but not fully enjoyable.  Tracy McGrady isn’t really likable so he doesn’t garner sympathy support.  Utah is as exciting as a pamphlet about mufflers, so no one wants to watch them longer than we must.  In fact, (here it comes hockey fans) the Jazz conjure up the same sentiment as the New Jersey Devils.  You know what I just realized? The Houston Rockets, New Jersey Devils and Toronto Raptors all have Red, White and Black as the colours in their uniforms.  Shouldn’t the Rockets and Raptors be forced to re-incorporate yellow and purple just to stay unique? Ugh, these predictions are not starting well for me, just like they won’t for Houston.  Utah sweeps. <Confidence meter: 8.1>

New Orleans vs Dallas:  Conversely, I hope this one goes the distance.  Think of all the point guards that Jason Kidd has played against in his career, and in his twilight, he has to face Chris Paul.  Oooh.  Now that I think about it, I am amazed that Gary Bettman didn’t put an NHL team in New Orleans.  How did he sidestep that landmine? If he had expanded/relocated the Maple Leafs there, and Katrina hit right after the lockout, it would have been the perfect storm of terrible commissioner decisions.  The Big Easy in 6. <Confidence meter: 6.7>

LA Lakers vs Denver: Everyone has the Lakers winning this series in a cakewalk.  Coloradoians will turn their attention to a hockey team featuring a former Hart Trophy winner who now resembles a Third World Robot (Peter Forsberg).  Seriously, I think the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz looked smoother on the Yellow Brick Road 65 years ago.  Now watch him torch the Red Wings in OT like he did in game 5 in 2002.  I digress.  The Lakers win in 5 after Iverson reminds everyone that he still has gas in the tank.  Oh yeah, and Kobe may hear some play-off booing in Denver.  Maybe. <Confidence gauge: 109.78 I really, really, think this will happen.  For sure.>

San Antonio vs. Phoenix: Wow.  This is a first round match-up? I want Phoenix to win so badly, but I can not get past that nerd Manu Ginobili.  There’s gotta be some upset somewhere, and San Antonio has to be starting to get tired after so many play-off games this decade…uh oh, I’m making a ‘hope’ prediction: Phoenix in 7 big ones! By the way, I am moving this week, which means I am getting cable installed, and therefore my awesome wife selected the ‘unlimited sports/movies’ channels for the bonus trial period.  Imagine flipping from this series, to the western conference hockey games, to the 72, 809th running of the ‘You can’t handle the truth’ scene from A Few Good Men? (Wow does that movie look different since Keifer did ‘24′ and Cruise hopped on Oprah’s couch). <CM: 2.13>

And in the East…

Celtics will sweep the Hawks.  Since I am mentioning Boston here, I am going to touch on Bill Simmons’ (of ESPN.com) MVP (Kevin Garnett) column from last week.  To review, some of the reasons that Bill listed for KG winning it include: his dad was able to sell his Celtics’ tickets in 4 minutes, KG blocks shots after the whistle has blown, and KG is a great cheerleader in blow-outs.  Hmmm.  Great MVP criteria.  At least he and I agree that Boston sweeps.  And the Bruins are sure making the Habs sweat, aren’t they? <Scale of Confidence: 85>

Vancouver over Milwaukee: This would be my choice because I like mountains on the coastline, not mountains on the waistline.

Cleveland vs Washington:  I’m saying ‘Go Wiz,’ when I realized that my son is a few months away from potty training, thus this phrase could get heavy usage in ‘08.  I’ve said this before, but history shows that Cleveland isn’t a city that shows up following a strong previous season.  What happened after that 1997 Indians run? How about when the Browns made the post-season in 2002?  What about when the Cleveland Barons steamrolled there way to…forget it.  I mean, is Bob Feller still the grand marshal for Cleveland’s ‘Champions Parade?’ I will give Washington credit for making this series interesting from the outset.  Too often though, Brendan Haywood and Antawn Jamieson come across as the first two henchmen to fall when the hero starts ‘takin’ no prisoners.’  LeBron James has been known to ‘take no prisoners’ at times.  Cleveland in seven. <H.M.C.S. Confidence lands in Port 79.5>

Toronto vs Orlando: I have tried to figure out a way that Toronto can win this series a thousand times.  Too often though, I’m forced to say ‘if,’ before my explanation – that’s never a good launching pad.  So here it is in a nutshell: Toronto must steal one of the two first games in Orlando, get sustained excellent play from Andrea Bargnani, and dig in their heals for a long, physical series.  I think people underrate Jameer Nelson, and he could get the job done if the Raps’ point guard situation gets ugly.  Oh, and Hedo the Turk is having a pretty sweet season.  Orlando in seven.  <CM 50%>

Detroit and Philadelphia: Do you know what it is like watching Detroit? It reminds me of when you are rushing around a grocery store (just before it closes) and you have to get some very specific things for your baby, only when you get to the baby food aisle, all of the boxes are nicely stacked but the French label is facing you.  Your hands can be full, or your kid can be whining and wanting to run away, but you have to try to translate ‘Iron enriched formula for babies aged 3-9 months who can digest huckleberries.’  You know you can spin the box and read the other side.  Or you can even read French.  Or you can just get the box that’s the same colour as the one you ran out of 10 minutes ago when you left the house.  It is more difficult than it had to be.  Voila your Pistons.  They win in 6 when it should be a sweep.  At least their bench will get more minutes.  Since I’m outta hockey references, Detroit beat Phily for the Cup over a decade ago (wow that was weak).  <El Meterro di Confidencia: 90>.

Feedback, as always, is welcome.