Lion? Lamb? March’s Real Personality

                 April is the cruelest month.

                                                            -T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

If you are a fan of Toronto’s sports teams, then perhaps you are wondering if esteemed Mr. Eliot was a month late in his assessment. 

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Exhibit A:

This week the Blue Jays learned that they will lose Casey Janssen for the season.  Granted, this isn’t the same as the San Diego Padres losing Jake Peavy, but you can never have enough pitching early in the year.  Optimists may argue that the fifth starter’s spot in the rotation now becomes Jesse Litsch’s.  The problem there is that Litsch gets the spot by default, and not by healthy competition.  I can only imagine that manager John Gibbons was glad to already have a fifth starter and avoid a possible controversy, but disappointed that the competition never materialized.

Exhibit B:

Did the Raptors’ charter plane land in the NBA’s western conference or Iraq? They have looked absolutely shell shocked since touching down to play LA 3 games ago.  Dorothy, we aren’t in Kansas anymore! In the “Take no possession off” (Mark Jackson, ABC) western conference, the Raptors have looked, in this order: 1. To Bosh for help 2. To Sam Mitchell for guidance 3. To the airline attendant for directions back east.  They look utterly out-manned and have many observers wondering if this team can win a game – let alone a round – in the play-offs.  I suspect that they will return humbled, and hungry; eager to reclaim some of their damaged pride.  If they don’t, expect the outcries for substantial off season overhauls.

C:

The Maple Leafs beat Philly twice in a week.  They rattle Martin Biron.  They get two game winners from Pavel Kubina.  They make observers rethink recent wins over Detroit, Montreal, and Ottawa.  Suddenly, the play-offs seem like a possibility.  Then Mats Sundin pulled his groin.  For a while, the Leafs must have felt like Steve Carrell’s character in ‘Dan in Real Life,’ buoyed by renewed vigor until suddenly Dane Cook walks in with Juliet Binoche in tow.  Alas. 

Lamb? Lion? For Toronto fans, March is a hyena, laughing at those that got sucked it.

Random Observations:

As of Saturday night – the second-last day of the OHL season – only 3 out of 8 play-off match-ups had been decided.  Talk about a great way to maintain the regular season’s integrity and interest right up ’til the end.

Does the preview for the film 21 look like a writer took Matt Damon’s two earliest successes, Good Will Hunting and Rounders, and smashed them together?

So, Caron Butler gets injured during his rookie season thereby enabling the Miami Heat to draft Dwayne Wade in 2003.  In 2006 they win an NBA title after signing Shaq.  Now, Pat Riley is shutting down Wade and guaranteeing the top lottery position.  Wow, that works out nicely.  The 2009 Heat roster will boast Shawn Marion, Wade, the (probable) top pick, plus any aging veterans who want a jump start on retirement property. 

Two key members of last year’s championships just got suspended for ‘reckless kicking type actions.’  San Antonio Spur Bruce Bowen got a game for kneeing (my MVP choice) Chris Paul.  And Anaheim Duck Chris Pronger got 8 games for a blade stomp.  Neither action was warranted.  Both players have a dark professional history.  Frankly, I don’t believe either will be playing for a championship in June.

Were it not for two freak occurrences, the Red Wings defence corps would (hypothetically) boast Vlad Konstantinov and Jiri Fisher.